Marc Jacobs has finally done it. I didn’t think he would, but he did, damn it. He and his team of designers have traveled back in time and collaborated on a collection with my 15 year old self.

I mean, alright. When you think about it, that probably wasn’t so hard. If I’m being perfectly honest, he could have just come over and asked the current iteration of me (so, you know, me) what she thought. Not that much has changed, and he would have saved some mileage on the old Delorian.

Be that as it may, here we are. Looking at things I would have worn in high school if I could have. Check this out, for example:

Marc Jacobs Fall 2014 6

This probably would have been some first day of school shit. You can probably tell that dress is one piece, but I’ll tell you right now, even if it had required the most uncomfortable amount of layering for a not-so-fall-like late August day; I would have rocked every piece. Yes, that includes the sneakers and the long socks, which I am still into. Do not let my snow boots fool you.

Oh, and by the way, that bow skirt also works as a scarf.

Marc Jacobs Fall 2014 5


Seriously, this kind of thing is why I don’t even post sometimes. Because, really. Should I even have to say anything about this? That right there is a black karate uniform, basketball shorts, leggings and sneakers. Oh, and don’t forget the freaking bandana and chains to accessorize this bitch. Just in case you hadn’t figured it out, I started a blog called Her Infenal Majesty because I love butterflies and rainbows. Definitely not because I was a serious ass goth, once upon a time.

Marc Jacobs Fall 2014 2


Alright, alright. This is definitely a calmer period here. It’s possible that too many people were all like “Why do you wear black all the time?” and I decided to wear gray and add some color accents to get them off my back for one day. It’s also possible that this was my Knicks field trip day outfit.

Marc Jacobs Fall 2014 3

This is very likely what I wore the first time someone told me I should dress “more professional.” Yes, it is technically a suit, and I might have earnestly asked why the fact that I had added some sort of karate belt, leg warmers and white sneaker boots was problematic.

Marc Jacobs FALL 2014 1


By this point, I imagine, people had just stopped asking me questions, and were just wondering who those futuristic-looking people following me around might be.