Since the dawn of time, Man has strived to have food miraculously appear before him. Ever since the first caveman went on the hunt for that first saber- toothed tiger, civilization has hungered for respite from this tedious work.

First came the grocery store. But alas, walking was required. Later came the restaurant. But alas, walking was again required, as were clothes.

Then, came a glimmer of hope in the shape of a telephone device, but alas, it was a crude tool that required grunting and at times, the forming of words.

In the end, we were left with the likes of and, but there were still some struggles. Unsophisticated tools in the end, they required extensive input, and just asked so many questions.

“All of this tap-tap-tapping,” you said. “Will the struggle ever end?”

Behold, children! For there is a light at the end of the tunnel. A solution to that age-old dilemma that has plagued us so.

A new app for your iPhone appropriately dubbed Push For Pizza has arrived with the solution. Touted as a one-tap pizza-ordering app, Push For Pizza collects your information only once, and then puts it to use in advancing humanity one step closer to its ultimate mission.

To think, you don’t have to remember to ask for pepperoni anymore, or even your name and address. Who has time for that, anyway? Certainly not you.

Using, a platform that allows ordering and payments to multiple sites like and Grubhub, and limiting topping choices to just pepperoni or cheese, Push For Pizza couldn’t be more direct in its approach if it tried.

To quote Maximillian Hellerstein, Co-Founder of Push For Pizza, this is the app for when you’re just like,

“I want pizza, but I don’t want to order a pizza.”

More noble words have never been uttered, Mr. Hellerstein. And to the future we go.

Originally published on InfernalPenguins