The final season of Dexter has finally come to a close, and for those of us who have traveled the long, confusing, blood-soaked road of America’s Favorite serial killer, it’s time to part ways with the Dark Passenger in all of us.
Thanks to all who joined me, Her Infernal Majesty and my own personal Harry, ExpertPenguin, as we made our internal monologues known, in order to bid our favorite blood spatter analyst goodbye.
The transcript of the liveblog is after the jump, for your giggly pleasure.
And that’s the end of Dexter.
Although the writers of this last season didn’t seem to truly understand the character they were writing, it’s good to have some measure of closure, and I would have preferred to have seen some respect for the things that originally made this show so freakin’ cool.
Fuck your beard, Dexter. And your couch.
But honestly, I’ll still miss you.
Well, unfortunately, that’s the end of a long, testy, occasionally inconsistent 8 year relationship. I wish he actually had a goal this season other than cleaning up messes he never would have made in any other season. Good riddance, Dex. You and your beard.
In fact, fuck it. Fuck your beard, Dexter.
Any parting words for this hogwash, My Infernal Majesty?
Just barely, I guess.
hey look! It’s the lumberjack Dexter mod.
…So basically, he got away with it.
Folks, this is happening during the Breaking Bad’s second to last episode. I bet Walt wishes he could skirt logic and karmic debt like Dexter.
…With a gross looking mountain man beard.
Serious BS. What a way to avoid dealing with any of Dexter’s actual issues.
Called it. RIGHT INTO THE STORM.
Though he didn’t earn that epiphany in an organic way at all. It kind of just happened. So he could fake his death, or kill himself…or whatever.
What a load..
Why does Dexter seem to think that the best thing to do would be to make Deb’s body disappear?
…I’m still wondering what made him think this was the appropriate way to let deb go…as if she were one of his victims.
I love Michael C. Hall. His confused face sums up my feelings perfectly.
MORGAN BOAT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING.
This seems a little too fuzzy.
Is he going to kill himself, or is she getting arrested?
Calling it now..
THIS IS NOT HEARTFELT AT ALL.
It’s one big WTF set to a tropical storm.
Poor Jennifer Carpenter. What a way for her to go. With zero fucks given.
Same for the hospital staff. Let Dex wheel her out and toss her into the ocean. No accounting for OTHER people who care about her.
Is Dexter seriously making off with Deb’s body?
So like Zack Snyder’s Superman killing Zod, this is the kill that wakes him up?
He couldn’t resist screwing up her death too?
…You’ve got to be kidding.
Is Dexter about to Mercy-kill Deb?
Call me crazy, but I think he was more emotional when Rita died.
For the first time ever, Batista and Quinn look dubious. Once Dexter leaves the room, do you think they say, “Yeah, Dexter’s a serial killer.” “Yeah, I know. Let’s get some coffee.”
GOOD GOD BATISTA.
No. No, they aren’t that dumb. They know exactly what he did.
And of course, he’s a superhero for it.
Because it doesn’t look like he set that up at all..
Everything Dexter is saying is right, for a change. But the fact that Saxton is the catalyst for this is ridiculous.
Nice. Self defense ploy, he stabbed me first?
First Dexter like methodical move all season.
Clearly. Because it’d take a bus full of blind and deaf people to not notice a known fugitive.
So, just to clarify, was that a bus full of deaf people?
Please, just leave the dude alone.
Yes, Dexter could leave. BUT HE WON’T.
….yes, I know I’m referring to Quinn and Batista.
No, I’m not saying that sarcastically.
You know what would be awesome?
If he outed Dexter. Like, right there. In front of the two best cops in Miami Metro.
So question: Is there someone in this room who’s going to give up Dex?
Look! Elway Ex Machina, OR…. The only person in Miami who recognizes Hannah McKay!
These flashbacks are giving me mixed feelings, instead of relishing the past..WHY does this have no impact?
Because this feels like its Dexter’s fault. All of it.
Remember: This course of action didn’t turn Deb into a vegetable at all.
HOLY FUCKNUTS. Deb is a vegetable.
Plot twist, eh?
Wait, was that a fork?
Dexter Voice Over: I’m just here to make sure you’re perfectly up to date at all times.
Unfortunately, this fan poll right here kind of highlights where everything has gone wrong. If people REALLY think that Dexter hasn’t put her in danger or screwed her up..ever.then we’re really just as brainwashed as Sho wants us to be.
And forgot about the first four episodes of this season.
Damn it, Dex. Why can’t you just let Saxon go? He doesn’t love you. It’s better this way.
Remember, Saxon’s high level of intelligence means he needs a vet, and not himself, to stitch up his bullet graze.
Good god Hannah. That is the first smart thing you’ve said all season.
..YES. GET AWAY FROM DEXTER. IMMEDIATELY.
Yes, and the fact that Hannah just hung around and cooked food that everyone ate without hesitation is not weird AT ALL.
It’s also not his fault that Hannah’s not out of the country, because asking her to stay so she could hide in Deb’s closet for a few episodes was a CLEAR alternative to freedom in a place with no extradition…
Deb: Yes, I know you kill people. But I forgive you interminably. My life is in service of yours.
No Dexter, the lesson is NOT that you shouldn’t have left him alive, you should’ve just TAKEN HIS OFFER FOR A TRUCE, and NOT messed around with him until it got Deb shot!
What, was he going to follow you to Argentina while renting out your house in Miami?
Why does everyone keep letting Dexter off the hook every time? Even on this episode?
I guess Saxon must also have Dexter’s serial killer superpowers.
Then again, I’m from the hood there, and not HIGHLY intelligent.
AT LEAST give him two stars. I can’t even do that in Los Santos without getting chased by PEDESTRIANS.
…..Did Saxon just knock a guy out GTA style and steal his car in public without anyone noticing?
Remember, guys. Saxon is HIGHLY INTELLIGENT.
What do you mean? That’s CLEARLY what his three season downward spiral was building up to..
The Quinn/Deb rehashed romance is soooo ridic. Just a step behind the ‘Deb is in love with Dexter’ move.
I know! I mean, at least wear a wig. Or a hat. Or glasses.
I know she’s a blonde in Miami, but the fact that Hannah can STILL walk around, in an airport no less, with no disguise as she attempts to leave the country, is still blowing my mind.
Tips for shaking the law: Accuse them of dropping off a suspicious package. Works every time! *wink*
Whatever you do, Elway, don’t say “bomb”…
See? Can I call the innocent Kanye West shrug at the camera when he gets away now, or later?
Oh, a reminder that the world’s worst deputy marshall is after Dexter and Hannah McKay.
I’d bet yes, oddly enough.
Really, there’s just one kill that matters at this point. Is Dexter going to live?
Ghosts of better seasons past..
Awww! I love that the entire cast is back for the pre-episode promo! Including Harrison, Lila, Rita and (gasp!) Trinity!
Oh, just one?
And we’re here! Ready for the final kill?