Robot Unicorn Attack Evolution: Always, Mother****ers

You heard about it a few years ago. You know. That deliciously addictive iOS game that was oh-so similar to Canabalt, but also featured a mythical robotic equus ferus caballus subspecies specimen as its hero (ine?).

Robot Unicorn Attack, it was called. Once you played the game, you never forgot the song. Not ever. No matter how much you cried or pleaded.
Imagine my cries of agony everlasting excitement when the other day, I discovered there was something called Robot Unicorn Attack Evolution. 

“What could this be?” I pondered. Surely, Robot Unicorn Attack Heavy Metal, and Robot Unicorn Attack Christmas Edition had fulfilled all of our hopping and dashing needs.
Oh, how wrong I was.
In this latest entry, we find ourselves once again mesmerized by our determined mythical beast of a protagonist, and his (her?) Erasure scored quest to merrily collect pixies, and dash through as many crystal stars as possible. Only this time, every three consecutive stars (four in the Facebook version) triggers an evolution. First into a Unipanda, then a Uniwolf, then a Unigorilla, a Unirhyno (on the Adult Swim site version) or a UniSabertooth Tiger (on the Facebook version) and finally a Unidragon.

That’s right. A freaking dragon.

It would be impossible for me to guess whom exactly the Adult Swim design team bribed in order to discover my most secret wish to someday, become a Unidragon. But to you, stealthy masterminds, I have just one thing to say: Well played.

As of this moment, the game is only available on the Adult Swim website, and Facebook. Will it eventually be on iOS and Android? I would bet my lucky stars.

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